The Xenophobe's Guide To
by The Battling Bard
Summary: An irreverant guide to the various races of Middle earth.


Disclaimer: This was inspired by the hysterical' The Xenephobe's Guide To... Series. I don't own the Sindar.

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Xenophobia- a morbid dislike of foreigners.

Xenophobe- a person with a morbid dislike of foreigners/particular race of people, probably justified, always understandable

Chapter One- The Xenophobes Guide To The Sindar-

Introduction- A VERY Brief History

How the Sindar came to be a separate race is a complicated tale, jam packed full of beautiful maidens, perilous quests, and mild stupidity. The Sindar, as a whole, are members of the third and largest tribe of Teleri elves, who undertook the journey to the undying lands. Unfortunately, their beloved leader, Elwe Singollo, became lost during a stroll in the woods to talk to his pal Finwe, leader of the second tribe. Luckily he chanced upon a lovely maiden singing in the woods and fell in love instantly (personality doesn't matter much to the Sindar), this maiden was Melian the Maiar. Such was the beauty of Melian; Elwe fell into a trance of love for many years.

Now, at this time, a portion of the Teleri decided to take Olwe as their king, and he lead them to the bliss of the Undying lands. Unfortunately, a somewhat larger portion decided to stay and search for their beloved leader. By the time Elwe managed to pull himself out of his 'love trance' (and wiped the drool from his chin) they had err... 'Missed the boat' For this reason the remaining Teleri call themselves the 'eglath' meaning 'forsaken'.

After this tragedy, the Teleri took Elwe and Melian as their king and respective queen and settled in Beleriand, becoming known as 'The Sindar' or 'Elves of twilight'. Here they built the magnificent Menegroth, meaning 'thousand caves', and named their realm 'Doriath'. Melian spun her magic's around Doriath so that no evil or intruder could enter their realm without traitorous aid from within; this became known as the 'Girdle of Melian'. Here, they hid themselves for many years, and did not enter into the wars against Morgorth. After the fall of Doriath (read the Book of Lost Tales), the majority of the Sindar migrated to mingle with the Silvans- also known as dark elves, who had refused Orome's offer of eternal bliss. The Silvans were so impressed with the splendour of the Sindar, that they took them as their lords and rulers. The largest of these realms included Greenwood, which was ruled by the Sindar lord, Oropher, and later by his son, Thranduil, and Lorinand, (later Lorien) ruled by Celeborn, close kin of Elwe, and his wife, the Noldo exile Galadrial.

How The Sindar See Themselves

Despite their reluctance to help others, the Sindar insist they are among the most, if not the most civilized race in middle-earth. Civilized not so much in terms of culture, perhaps, as in social behaviour. They consider themselves to be law abiding, courteous, gallant, steadfast and fair. Believing themselves superior to all other races, they are also convinced that all other races secretly know that they are. In a perfect Arda, the Sindar would suspect everyone would be like them.-

'It's not that they're wicked or naturally bad it's knowing they're foreign that makes them so mad.'

When the Noldor came to Beleriand, ignoring the fact that they're realm would not have lasted had it not been for the many wars waged by the Eldar and the Edain against Morgorth, they shunned the majority of the Noldor for the evil deeds of the Feanorians. Those Noldos they did not ban from their realm, they set about 'Sindarizing', banning their language within Doriath, so as it soon faded into a language of lore.

How They Know Others See Them

On the whole, the Sindar do not really care how the rest of middle-earth sees them. They are convinced, with some justification, that no-one really understands them. In the words of the much loved Sinda minstrel Dairon-

'The Sindar are moral, the Sindar are good, and fair, and modest, and misunderstood'

This is not a cause of concern, as the Sindar do not want to be understood, feeling it an invasion of their privacy.

Because the Sindar do not like being told what to do, any order has to be given with a degree of politeness which many other races find incomprehensible. Should you follow custom and express an order as a request or favour, you will achieve the desired effect.

How They Would Like To Be Seen

Although it is impossible for the Sindar to appear to care what others think of them, deep down they would like to be loved and appreciated for what they see as the sterling qualities they posses. These qualities, which they selflessly bring into the Middle-earth forum, include a reflex action which causes them to treat persecutors with a firm hand, truthfulness and a commitment never to break a promise or to go back on their word. Non-Sindar are expected to understand that if a Sinda has not kept his word, there is a very good reason for it. If possible, try to find it in your heart to be charitable about these beliefs, even if you are convinced they are hopeless delusions.

How Others Actually See Them

To the other races of Middle-earth, the Sindar are seen as intellectually impenetrable. Life passes them by as they laugh in the comfort of their treasure filled halls, oblivious to the problems of the outside world, as they revel in self-denial.

They are seen as hide-bound, prejudiced and un-cooperative- a people largely unmoved by developments of the world around them, who, since the fall of Doriath, prefer to live in lands with a group of intellectually inferior and savage elves who can easily be dominated.

How They See Others

Nowhere is a Sindas' natural distrust of the unfamiliar more clearly seen than in his attitudes to other elves. The Noldor, they believe, are war mongering and arrogant, their only re-deeming quality being their ability to create pretty jewels, which the Sindar take full advantage of. The Vanyar are simpering and meek, a race that would rather pander to the whims of the Valar than bite the arrow and get their hands dirty. They have a special relationship with the Silvans, despite their shocking lack of self-control, and almost indecent love of trees.

Nevertheless, most elves, no matter how arrogant or meek, are entitled to special treatment.

When it comes to the other races of Middle-earth, the Sindar are in no doubt as to their own predominance. This they see as no petty prejudice but as genuine scientific fact. Humans of any creed are a nuisance and feckless to boot; the dwarves are clever but are quite frankly not to be trusted, and the Halflings, of which they have absolutely no contact with, are permanently jolly with an unseemly obsession with food.

Despite this, the Sindar do like many individuals who are foreign, since they generally know at least one foreigner who is almost 'one of us'.

A Few Famous (and infamous) Sindar

Oropher- Oropher was a Lord of Doriath before migrating to Greenwood, where the Silvans were so impressed by him, they took him as king. Due to a severe dislike of being told what to do, especially be the Noldor, Oropher succeeded in killing himself and most of his subjects during the Last Alliance, when he charged into battle against the orders of the High King of the Noldor, Gil-Galad.

Thranduil- Became King of Greenwood the Great after the death of his father, Oropher, at the end of the Second Age. Unable to beat back the rising tide of evil, Greenwood was renamed Mirkwood, becoming famous for it's larger than average spiders. Although not sharing his father's obstinence to a dangerous degree, Thranduil still resented the interference of his neighbours in Lorien, Galadrial and Celeborn.

Cirdan- One of the oldest and wisest elves of middle-earth, Cirdan is a kin of Elwe and thus shared his silver hair, a rarity among the Sindar. His real name is not known, Cirdan meaning 'shipwright', the profession chosen for him by Ulmo. Cirdan was perhaps the most sorrowful of the eglath at being left behind; such is his desire to look upon the two trees and the bliss of Aman.


End file.
